Girlfriend Discrimination

I know, I know, everyone stares at me like I'm crazy whenever I bring it up, but I swear it's a thing.  It's what I like to call "Girlfriend Discrimination."  It's frustrating and sometimes, like RIGHT NOW, I want to give it a piece of my mind!

What has triggered this specific post is that I just saw a website looking for blog entries from military WIVES to feature on its page.  Yes, military wives ONLY!

Of course, this might not sound like a big deal to you, but feeling like a second-class citizen in the world of military significant others can sometimes get old.  Of course military girlfriends miss out on things like medical benefits, but that's to be expected, and is the same in the non-military world as well.  Military girlfriends, however, also miss out on access to the PX, military discounts, recognition on Military Spouse Appreciation Day, activities on military bases, phone calls from the FRG (Family Readiness Group) seeing how we're doing, and most importantly, the right to even be notified if something happens to our loved ones.

I think in many ways the army is aware of this problem and cares.  J's unit sends out monthly newsletters, or at least was sending out newsletters for the first several months of the deployment, and all the girlfriends were included in the distribution list.  This made me very happy!  So happy that I not only saved all the envelopes, but I also took a picture of one just in case I ever lost them.  Official army correspondence was sent to ME, the lowly little girlfriend.

By complaining about girlfriend discrimination, I don't mean to belittle what military spouses go through.  I am not trying to compare.  I can't even imagine the difficulties of going through a deployment as a spouse, especially with children.  I'm not even saying that I should get the benefits that military spouses receive.  I'm not looking for the government to change "Military Spouse Appreciation Day" to "Military Significant Other Appreciation Day," I'm not looking for the army to open the PX to girlfriends, and I'm not looking for a military discount at the local amusement park.

BUT, I also think that going through deployments is hard and people need support.  Just because I'm a girlfriend does not mean I don't need the occasional hug or the occasional phone call to see how I'm doing.  It also does not mean that the thoughts I express on this blog are entirely meritless.  Maybe I'm not an army wife, but I do love J, my heart does break each day he's gone, I do lie awake each night until I hear that he's safe, and I am committed to loving him and supporting him through whatever this deployment throws our way.

So although my blog posts will stay right here and won't ever be published on a "military wife ONLY" website, I'm going to keep writing these posts because maybe, despite being a lowly little girlfriend, I will still be able to offer support and encouragement to other significant others surviving deployments.