Life's Not Fair

I recently read that one of the tricks to happiness is not to compare your life to others.  That's some pretty good advice because life is simply not fair.  

When I go about comparing, my problem is perspective.  Why do I always compare my life to people who I view as having "more" than me, but ignore all the people who have "less" than me?  What's even worse is that I seem to pick bits and pieces out of others' lives.  I don't even compare my entire life to someone else's entire life, I dwell on one thing I'm upset about in my life, and think about someone's life where that one thing is better.

"OH THE INJUSTICE," I think.

This deployment has been a key example of this comparison problem.  

I find myself looking at my friends with wonderful, non-deployed significant others and thinking that this deployment IS NOT FAIR!  In my comparison, I of course don't consider any other aspect of their lives, and I ignore all people not in happy relationships.  

Today has been particularly bad for my comparison mentality.  I can't give many details, but the general issue is that J is coming home after the rest of his unit.  This means that my friends get to see their significant others much sooner than I will see J.  I am so happy for them, but I can't help thinking it's not fair!  

I've tried looking for some silver lining, but I'm coming up dry.  The problem though isn't a failed search for silver lining, it's my perspective.  Why am I focusing on this one thing that seems (and is) unfair, but ignoring everything else?  Yes, between this small group of girls, I got a bad deal on this one particular issue, but that doesn't even mean I got the "worst" deal on the deployment as a whole.  Why do I compare this one bad thing and somehow think I picked the short straw in this deployment and life?

For just a moment, I am going to take a step back and change my perspective.  I'm going to stop comparing and just count my blessings:

I am so blessed to have J in my life.  I don't think I'll ever be able to describe how amazing J is or how much I love him!  It's incredible knowing someone worth going through this deployment for.  

I am blessed to have people in my life who have been so supportive this year.  It's unbelievable how much of a blessing they have all been.  Friends and family have called, sent texts, emailed, etc., constantly giving me support.  Whenever I'm having a bad day, someone's always there to make it better.  In fact, I came home tonight to two boxes my mom sent to cheer me up!  

I have also met great girls who went through this deployment with me.  I am so fortunate to have had friends in the same boat with whom I could go through this deployment.

My sister is about to have a baby and I am SO EXCITED TO BE AN AUNT!

I have a great job.  Despite this economy, I have found a job in my field, doing something I enjoy, and working with wonderful people.

I have a craft room!

I have an incredible cookie cutter collection!

Ok, this could go on for some time...

When I start thinking about "how unfair this deployment is", the biggest thing I need to keep in mind is that every day of this deployment has been my choice.  Every day I have woken up and thought about how much I love J and how this is all worth it.  Obviously, deep down I know I didn't draw the short straw.  

So the bottom line, as it relates to this deployment and my entire life, is this:

 LIFE IS NOT FAIR.  I have been unfairly blessed.